Just Poor Potty Taste

Gotcha, for a moment there! After reading the title, you got an anxious thought that I might have actually taste tested Oscar’s potty?

Number #1 or Number #2?

Okay crude, I digress, my apologies, people.

No, this blog post is more in tuned with a real estate transaction. The type of buying or leasing blunder that has potentially long term negative consequences that’s going to make you physically suffer and feel incompetent (stupid).

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION

That’s what every real estate expert preaches no matter what type of business transaction they are conducting in today’s market. From industrial properties with good access to highways, from commercial retail space with great parking and of course what most of us are accustomed to, a spacious and beautiful home in a quiet neighborhood with great schools.

Right?

A photo of a Black and Tan Chiweenie dog walking in the grass.

In this scenario we are looking for an ideal piece of potty property to train and housebreak a dog. The aforementioned real estate philosophy still applies, we need to find a prime location for our doggie(s) to conduct their potty business. It needs to be located in a comfortable spacious environment (preferably grass or sand) with a little privacy. Assuming you want to have an easier time potty training your dog, especially a rescue.

For some dog owners this a no-brainer, just open the backdoor and off your doggie goes to a sizable chunk of real estate covered in grass. It’s just a matter of keeping them out of your flower beds.

For city dwellers who live in apartments and or townhouses, it gets a bit more complicated, unless your fortunate enough to live directly across the street or adjacent to a dog park. Lucky you.

That being said, I live in a quaint townhouse in the City of Las Vegas; and my potty property search was short, limited and culminated into a distressing poor choice on my part. Basically, I took the first thing available on the market and now I have deep regrets.

GREAT AMENITIES POOR RESALE VALUE

In all fairness to myself, my choices were very limited, our community is adjacent to a relatively quiet thorofare (busy only at rush hour), on one side, and separated from the single family tract homes on the other side by a parking lot and a ten foot high cement wall.

The only areas covered with grass (rare in LV) are the street side and between the townhouses split by sidewalks.

As for us, we live in the second unit from the corner, so, fifteen steps and we’re ankle deep in grass and onto the corner lot.  Also there are two large Sycamore trees that provide shade for 80 percent of the lot. An extremely attractive amenity during the torrid summer months in Las Vegas! Not a bad choice if you take convenience and the amenities into consideration.

POTTY IN PUBLIC IS REQUIRED 

But, imagine yourself in desperate need to relieve yourself at a crowded community carnival, Fair and or sporting event. And the ONLY available bathroom was a Porta-Potty with NO DOOR!

Men you are required to do a Number #2, and ladies you can take a break and clean off your monitor of the coffee or Diet Coke you just sprayed all over it (ladies don’t spit). Go ahead, we’re waiting on the macho men now, and I already know what your answer to the next question is going to be.

Could you relieve yourself in this Porta-Potty?

The ladies have either already answered, Don’t be Ridiculous Fool, No!”, or have shutdown their internet browser in fear of a crude picture being posted below this sentence. So, men, what’s your answer, and no smarty pants frat boy comments either?

We didn’t think so.

… waiting for everyone to regain their composure a bit

RESALE VALUE PLUMMETED

So basically that was the situation Oscar and myself, mostly him, was thrusted into. Of course Oscar is a dog, vanity is not getting in the way, but derelict cars making crazy sounds, pedestrians walking by, dogs on potty patrols and the neighborhood drunk staggering by on his way to get his 12-pack, makes it ever more difficult for him to concentrate on potty.

He’s a dog, genetically curious by nature — nosy!

On top of that he’s a rescue dog that is terrified of people to include myself early on, dogs and other animals. So, let’s keep it real here, this is not the ideal location where a little privacy is required?

CLOSING TOO EARLY

Let’s face it my hasty decision to Close on this piece of potty property was not such a good decision. However, Oscar, never relieves himself in the same spot anyway, so let’s see how this plays out over time. We’ll just concentrate on keeping the potty schedule and showering him with praise, “Good Boy, Oscar”, for successful potties.

Who knows a better location may just become available in the next few weeks. Then we can worry about realtor commissions and all the paperwork.

Can you remember the very first potty location you selected for housebreaking your dog?

If yes, I and probably the silent majority, would surely like to hear about it in the Comments section of this post. “So go ahead, put your paw down and post! ” 🐾


CHEW BONES: Oscar has only urinated outside a few times, mostly in the flower beds in our back courtyard. Not only has the frequency been limited, but, when he does eliminate its a long session — like he’s been drinking beer at the bar for three hours! I think he’s still holding his pee-pee, I’ll keep you posted.

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About marcelino guerrero

An entrepreneur, grandfather, disabled veteran, Chiweenie parent and rabid Philadelphia Phillies Phan. Retired (involuntarily); I enjoy impeding the progress of important and obnoxious people while exploring new ways to irritate my primary physician.